My Memoirs, Part 2

tim-cain memoir self-reflection leadership feedback game-industry personal-growth

Abstract

Problem: What does a veteran game developer learn about himself when he writes a memoir and solicits honest feedback from decades of colleagues?

Approach: Tim Cain shares the personal lessons that emerged from writing his memoir and running his YouTube channel — both the positive reconnections and the uncomfortable negative feedback he received from former coworkers, delivered both kindly and harshly.

Findings: Tim identified four core criticisms that came up repeatedly: he talks too much (and too loudly, drowning out quieter voices), he projects confidence to the point of seeming egotistical, he's stubbornly committed to initial plans even when better ideas emerge, and he pushes people too hard by expecting from them what he demands of himself. He also discovered that no matter how you frame your story, some people will always think you're too kind while others think you're too harsh.

Key insight: If multiple people independently tell you the same thing about yourself — especially in different ways — you should listen, because the common thread across kind and unkind feedback is almost certainly true.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmW06yNx7Ts

Reconnecting Through the Memoir

Tim opens by noting that writing his memoir — a massive printed manuscript sent to former colleagues for feedback — generated an outpouring of responses. Some were from people he hadn't spoken to in 10, 15, or even 27 years, who reached out simply to say they enjoyed working with him. The memoir and his YouTube channel became an unexpected vehicle for reconnection.

The Four Criticisms

He Talks Too Much

The least surprising piece of feedback: Tim talks a lot, talks loudly, and talks over people. Colleagues said this made them feel discounted in conversations, especially during brainstorming sessions. Even when those sessions were well-liked, people felt Tim's ideas sometimes won not because they were better, but because he explained them better. Tim's first instinct was "well, you should have done a better job explaining yours," but he came to accept the criticism — quieter people with good ideas simply couldn't compete with his gregarious nature, inherited from his father.

Confidence vs. Egotism

Kind colleagues told Tim he "exudes confidence." Unkind ones called him egotistical. The common thread: he acts like he has a plan and moves forward decisively, even when he doesn't actually know what he's doing. Tim acknowledges this was deliberate — he believed that hemming and hawing as a project lead was corrosive to team morale, so he projected certainty whether he felt it or not.

Stubbornness

Closely related to confidence: once Tim picks a direction, he doesn't steer away unless the current approach is provably unworkable. Supportive colleagues appreciated this consistency. Critics argued it meant better ideas got rejected after production began, leading to avoidable problems in his games. Tim accepts there were cases where a better approach existed but he refused to deviate from the agreed-upon plan.

Expecting Too Much

Kind colleagues said Tim's high expectations pushed them to grow and become better at their craft, and that he never asked more of them than he gave himself. Harsh critics said he pushed relentlessly and it was never enough — that he was the one who made the work-life imbalance at Troika feel like an expectation rather than a choice. Tim recognizes that because he worked that way himself as the leader, everyone else felt pressured to match him.

Advice to Colleagues Writing Memoirs

Tim notes that several industry colleagues are now writing their own memoirs — he's read Sid Meier's (really good) and Ken and Roberta Williams' (interesting for its publisher-side perspective), with John Romero's on his reading list.

His advice to anyone undertaking a memoir:

  • Listen for commonalities. One person's criticism might reflect their own biases. But if many people independently say the same thing in different ways, it's almost certainly true.
  • Watch for defensive reflexes. If you frequently respond to feedback with "I didn't do that" or "I don't remember doing that," pause and count how many people are saying it. If it's more than one, take it seriously. You likely did things that felt insignificant to you but stuck with others for years.
  • Accept that some issues are yours. If you believe every problem lies with the people giving feedback and none with you, you're approaching your memoir wrong.

You Can't Please Everyone

Tim closes with a meta-observation about the impossibility of balanced storytelling:

  • Some people think he's too kind — whitewashing the industry, glossing over problems, or being a paid shill
  • Others think he's too harsh — bitter, holding grudges, telling stories he didn't need to tell
  • Some say he gives too little credit to others (egotistical)
  • Others say he gives too much credit and is being falsely modest, or only crediting people so they'll credit him back
  • One person even complained that Tim said nice things about them — but not enough nice things

Tim's conclusion: there is literally no way to satisfy everyone, and that realization goes "at the top of the box" of ways you can't please everybody. His parting words to colleagues considering a memoir: good on you, and good luck.

References