RPG Features Nobody Asked For

Anti-Hooks, Not Hooks

Tim frames these features as the inverse of the "hook" that publishers always ask about. Where a hook draws players in, these are anti-hooks that push players away. The better question for any RPG designer isn't "what's your hook?" but "are you adding any features that will make people rage quit?"

He acknowledges the list is subjective and not exhaustive, but every item on it meets one of two criteria: either no player has ever asked for it in a review or forum post, or many players have cited it as a reason they couldn't enjoy a game.

Formulaic NPCs

The sarcastic NPC. The judgmental NPC. The completely aloof NPC. Tim is tired of seeing one-note character archetypes rolled out as if personality quirks are a substitute for actual characterization.

The deeper problem: NPCs act however they want, but the player character isn't allowed to respond in kind. Tim shares an example where a companion called him a coward for declining a quest — but the dialogue options gave him no way to fire back. This violates player agency.

The Fix

Write actual characters. Take a class in character writing. Even a boilerplate archetype can work if given depth — maybe the uncaring NPC is depressed because their child was kidnapped and turned into a zombie. Fix the problem, and they become the most joyful NPC in the game. Just don't ship flat, one-note characters.

And if an NPC is truly insufferable? Let the player kill them.

Escort Missions

The dreaded escort quest where an NPC follows you (or worse, walks ahead of you) and you must keep them within range or the quest fails. Tim catalogs the full horror:

• The NPC walks at a speed slightly faster than your walk but slower than your run, so you constantly yo-yo back and forth
• They take bizarre, non-intuitive paths that wander through monster lairs
• They talk constantly, delivering important information you can barely hear because you're not next to them
• If they stop walking and you get too far ahead, you have to backtrack to find them

The Fix

Replace walking escorts with vehicles. Put both characters in a cart, car, or mount that the player controls. You can still have combat encounters, roadblocks, and story beats along the way — but you eliminate all the pacing misery.

Or just never make escort quests.

Lore Dumps

Long cutscenes that exist only to deliver exposition. NPCs who stop talking with you and start talking at you. Lectures disguised as dialogue. And the ultimate sin: making any of it unskippable.

Tim puts unskippable cutscenes and dialogue in the "rage quit" category. Your RPG had better be flawless in every other way if you're going to trap players in mandatory exposition.

The Fix

Two rules: make it skippable (non-negotiable), and put the lore in readable form — books, notes, computer logs, journal entries. Let the player read it later, if and when they care. This solution has existed for decades.

Rails and Linearity

Story rails where everything exists only to advance the main plot. Level design rails where an area looks open but every door is locked except the one they want you to use. Canyons that funnel you down a single path disguised as an open area.

Tim's message to linear designers: "Have you ever heard of player agency? If your design document says 'and then the player does this,' you've lost me. You want to tell a story, go write a book."

The Fix

Design your game as a series of goals, not a series of actions. Instead of "kill these soldiers guarding the Ark, then open it," just say "find the lost Ark." Let the player figure out how. Add lots of skills, abilities, and approaches so players can solve problems their own way.

Cities and Towns

Cities full of NPCs who exist as decoration — can't talk to them, they have no quests, they aren't merchants, they just get in the way. And here's the core contradiction: if the majority of a player's abilities (spells, combat skills, special class features) will get them in trouble with city authorities, why is that city in the game?

Most cities are just quest hubs and shops. Tim argues designers should embrace that reality and streamline the experience: put merchants near the entrance so players can sell loot immediately, make quest givers easy to find, and don't hide them behind multiple loading screens.

The Exception

Some games make the city the play space — assassin games where running around a city causing chaos is the core loop. That's fine. But if your RPG is about fighting monsters and exploring dungeons, then a big city is just an annoying place where everything the player has been trained to do gets them thrown in jail.

The Fix

Ask yourself: why is this city in the game? If you don't need a quest hub or merchants there, don't add it. And if you do need it, streamline it. The fun is in doing quests, not the busywork paperwork before and after.

The Takeaway

Tim's overarching advice to RPG designers: play RPGs. Play a lot of them. You'll encounter these anti-features yourself and understand viscerally why they don't work. If a feature has been tried repeatedly across the genre and never once been praised, stop putting it in games.

References

• Tim Cain. YouTube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONIBOhQiaRw