Editing Your Game Story

tim-cain narrative-design game-writing player-agency playtesting nonlinearity feedback

Abstract

Problem: How should game stories be edited when traditional writing advice from books and film doesn't apply to interactive media?

Approach: Tim Cain draws on his experience directing narrative-heavy RPGs (especially Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines) to explain why conventional editorial rules fail in games, and what to do instead.

Findings: Player agency and nonlinearity make it impossible to apply linear-media editing heuristics like "if you can remove a scene/character without affecting the story, it's unnecessary." Instead, diverse playtesting across character builds, focus groups, and QA teams is the proper way to validate a game's narrative. Feedback should always be constructive rather than purely critical.

Key insight: You cannot evaluate a game story from a single playthrough or a single perspective — diversity in testing (builds, playstyles, player types) is the equivalent of "editing" for interactive narratives.

The Core Problem: Writers Trained for Linear Media

Tim opens by clarifying that while he's not a writer himself, he frequently gives feedback to narrative designers. His biggest observation: many narrative designers think too much like authors of books or screenwriters. They were trained to structure stories in terms of ebbs, flows, dramatic arcs, and sequential beats — "this happens, then this happens, then this happens."

This mindset fundamentally ignores two realities of games:

  • Player agency — the player may not make those things happen, or may skip them entirely.
  • Nonlinearity — the player might experience events in order B-A-C instead of A-B-C, and characters must react accordingly.

Neither of these conditions exists in books or film. The viewer of a movie has zero agency over the plot and cannot reorder scenes. This makes most traditional writing workshop advice inapplicable — or actively harmful — for game narratives.

Why "Can You Remove It?" Fails in Games

A classic piece of editorial advice: if you can remove a scene and the story still works, that scene is unnecessary. Similarly, if you can extract an entire character without consequence, that character doesn't need to exist.

Tim argues this is great for linear, unchanging media — and terrible for games. You cannot know what will matter to a given player because of player agency and build diversity. A character or area that's irrelevant to one playstyle may be absolutely critical to another.

The Nosferatu Example

In Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines, the Nosferatu clan couldn't be seen in public without breaking the Masquerade (the cardinal vampire law). The team built a sewer network throughout Los Angeles specifically for Nosferatu players.

  • For most clans, the sewers were a neat optional shortcut — an alternate entrance when you couldn't talk or sneak your way in.
  • For Nosferatu, the sewers were the only way to traverse the city. Removing them would make the game unfinishable.

Applying the "can you remove it?" test would say the sewers are optional content. For one clan, they're the entire game.

The Solution: Diversity in Testing

Instead of applying linear-media editing rules, Tim recommends validating your game story through diverse testing:

Play It Yourself with Varied Builds

If you can, play your own game with a variety of different character builds. Don't always default to your comfort zone. (Tim acknowledges some people can't help it — "no matter how I start Skyrim, I always end up a stealth archer.")

Diverse Focus Groups

Fill your focus groups with people who play differently and react differently. The goal: see if your story can withstand their method of playing.

Diverse QA Teams

QA testers who approach the game from different angles will catch narrative breakdowns that a homogeneous team would miss.

Diverse Development Teams

A diverse writing staff will naturally think of different paths through the game. This helps at every stage, not just testing.

Tim also shares a personal example: being fully colorblind, he was sent an early build of Left 4 Dead by Valve and found interface problems — areas where his gun crosshair was invisible against certain map backgrounds. A "pure game mechanic" issue caught by diversity in testing. If you accept that diversity improves mechanics testing, you must accept it improves story testing too.

How to Give Constructive Story Feedback

Tim's final point: it is very easy for story feedback to come across as negative, because by definition you're looking for problems.

When he professionally reviews games (vertical slices, alphas, prototypes), he warns clients upfront: "You asked me what needs to change, not to validate how great your game is. If something's wrong, I have to tell you — and that will sound negative."

His recommendation:

  • Don't just identify problems — offer constructive solutions.
  • Instead of "your characters are written terribly," say: "This character comes across as sarcastic and hostile, which made me avoid interacting with them. Could there be a character who's enjoyable to talk to?"
  • Even if the client doesn't use your exact suggestion, constructive framing gets them thinking about adjacent solutions they might not have considered otherwise.

The Niche Game Caveat

Tim acknowledges that some designers want to tell a specific, linear story with minimal player agency — and that's fine. But they should understand the trade-off: the game will appeal strongly to players who play the "intended" way and leave others cold. It doesn't mean the game is poorly crafted; it just means it's niche.

Source: Tim Cain — "Editing Your Game Story"

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